Drama. I hate all the drama. I get a lot lately. GAH!
I want to say so many things to so many people, but half of them either don't care or don't want to listen. Some of them are not the practice-what-you-preach types. Others I understand their concern but don't think they really did everything they are telling me to do in the same situation. I also know they would not change what they did, given the chance.
And others genuinely care. They will tell me why and not just insist that they are right & I am wrong and attack me if I don't do it the way they want me to do it. To those that do honestly care... thank you. <3
Some people are telling me what to do, when they have little experience in the matter. I love when people are so sure of what they are saying, but when it comes to themselves it's a whole different story. Does god/karma/the universe/the little pink fairies/the ancestors/any-other-being (great or small)-that-you-would-like-to-insert-here hate me?? Probably.
Sometimes I want to just give up. The whole reason I wanted to do things the way I am is because I want my family there. I want to share it with them. I want to do it before my little brother leaves for 2 years. I want a lot of things, but sometimes it seems the fairies don't agree. I want it to be happy, but so far it seems like all I'm getting is stress and drama from the people I want around (and even some I don't or could really care less about). I wish people would stop being so hypocritical. If you are part of my family and are reading this, know that I still love you and always will. I could just use a little less drama than what I'm getting. It's supposed to be happy. I do realize that everything could go horribly wrong and I could be unhappy. HOWEVER, it is possible everything will go wonderfully right and we will be blissfully happy.
I also knew that when I started saying I wanted to get married, I would be criticized all over the place. Top, bottom, diagonally, slant-wise.... That many people think I'm rushing, not old enough, not thinking at all.
Life is a gamble. Waking up in the morning is a blessing. Even walking out your front door is a gamble you take every day. You never know if you will find a $100 bill in the street or get hit by a semi. Life is life. You take what you get.
