Thursday, August 4, 2011

Uggghhhh!


Drama. I hate all the drama. I get a lot lately. GAH!

I want to say so many things to so many people, but half of them either don't care or don't want to listen. Some of them are not the practice-what-you-preach types. Others I understand their concern but don't think they really did everything they are telling me to do in the same situation. I also know they would not change what they did, given the chance.

And others genuinely care. They will tell me why and not just insist that they are right & I am wrong and attack me if I don't do it the way they want me to do it. To those that do honestly care... thank you. <3

Some people are telling me what to do, when they have little experience in the matter. I love when people are so sure of what they are saying, but when it comes to themselves it's a whole different story. Does god/karma/the universe/the little pink fairies/the ancestors/any-other-being (great or small)-that-you-would-like-to-insert-here hate me?? Probably.

Sometimes I want to just give up. The whole reason I wanted to do things the way I am is because I want my family there. I want to share it with them. I want to do it before my little brother leaves for 2 years. I want a lot of things, but sometimes it seems the fairies don't agree. I want it to be happy, but so far it seems like all I'm getting is stress and drama from the people I want around (and even some I don't or could really care less about). I wish people would stop being so hypocritical. If you are part of my family and are reading this, know that I still love you and always will. I could just use a little less drama than what I'm getting. It's supposed to be happy. I do realize that everything could go horribly wrong and I could be unhappy. HOWEVER, it is possible everything will go wonderfully right and we will be blissfully happy.

I also knew that when I started saying I wanted to get married, I would be criticized all over the place. Top, bottom, diagonally, slant-wise.... That many people think I'm rushing, not old enough, not thinking at all.

Life is a gamble. Waking up in the morning is a blessing. Even walking out your front door is a gamble you take every day. You never know if you will find a $100 bill in the street or get hit by a semi. Life is life. You take what you get.


7 comments:

irish said...

Grandpa and I love you, Meagan. You are a very eloquent writer, and whatever you decide to do, we wish you the very most happiness.
what can we do to help you?

irish said...

At the LDS distribution centers they have a white dress called Daisy that looks very pretty online with embroidery and lace and all. It is $34.oo. You can go online and look at it or go to a distribution center and look at it. They come in all sizes and they have other styles as well. They most expensive one I saw was $49.00.

M3@9@N said...

aww! i love you grandma! xoxo :)

irish said...

I love you, Meagan. Would you like to have a happy thought a day contest with me? Whoever doesn't miss a day from now until the 28th of August will win their favorite treat. What is your favorite treat?
My happy thought for August 13 is:
"Let us dance in the sunshine wearing wild flowers in our hair."

heidi said...

That's weird, your blog page I went to go read does not exist. Maybe you deleted it?

irish said...

written by susan shutz--forgot to add it.

irish said...

My happy thought for August 14:

"In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed--not just endured." GBH

So far I'm winning