Stressing

I'm feeling stressed out about everything these days...
school, boys, life.... mostly life and everything in it.
it's like it's almost too much to handle.


I hung out with Kacee, her friend Matt, Mandy and her bf Cody.Watching Mandy and Cody be all cutsy made me a little sad.... I WANT TO CUDDLE!!!! But it can't be with just anybody: I'm not one of those touchy-feely types of people. Why do I feel like I want someone to love me??

I know, I know... "I'm still young."

But it can really bum a girl down sometimes.... I feel lonely when I see these people -these cute, happy couples. Maybe it's just cuz I'm used to having someone... Even if that someone was a total jerk! >:[ I really don't think he liked me as much as he said... I think the big reason I was with him for so long is because I felt like there wasn't any other guy that would want me. All of my friends had a boyfriend.... or several in only a few month's time. But not me. I wanted someone that would make me feel wanted -and not just family. Don't get me wrong... family is great, but it's just not the same.



Someone to love me for me.... sometimes it's like family loves you cuz they have to. I know they really don't have to, but still... you're related. You have genetic similarities.... When you have someone that really does want you for you... (and not for that one thing) it's such a confidence booster. You feel needed...





Sometimes I just feel so confused. And I also know that if i tell all, I'm going to get hurt. I tend to keep myself more protected.... That way people only know what I want them to know.

I guess I know I'll have the right guy in time. I'll probably be married in a few years.... maybe... and I could even have kids.... isn't that a scary thought? But I know life will get easier. Harder before easier, but easier none the less. That thought is a little more comforting. I just have to find ways to de-stress... That should also help with my eczema and stuff.... :D

Well.. ttfn! Good day/Good nite! I love you guys. <3