PAIN!!! >:'[

so my mouth hurts. my right side is puffy and bruises started showing up yesterday morning... FOUR DAYS AFTER THE SURGERY!! i still can't open my mouth all the way. i hope that i will be able to soon. i'd love to be able to CHEW again! i haven't had normal food in almost a week! i'm going nuts. my teeth feel rather sensitive... and it's really hard to brush my teeth. i went to class yesterday, and couldn't take lortab cuz i had to drive to my classes.

everything was pissing me off. some idiot couldn't decide if they wanted to get over or not and decided the last second they wanted to turn left at the intersection! they jerked right in front of me and almost hit me!!!! friggin idiots!!!!!!! they turned up 48th and i was yelling at them through the windsheild. (that didn't help my jaw to feel any better, btw.) i screamed that if they turned into my neighborhood.. i would ram them with my car!!!! they are horrible drivers. they swayed a lot, too... lucky for them they kept going straight when i got to turn.

i came home and slept f0r and hour because my math class had been canceled. but of course they couldn't TELL me that! no. i go there and see a NOTE on the stupid DOOR of the classroom! i come home and look at my emails. they didn't send a message until about 4 pm. MY CLASS STARTED AT 2!!!!!! come on!

yesterday sucked.

after my nap i went to chem, my last class of the day. there were these 2 women sitting behind me complaining the entire time about how dumb they thought the prof was cuz he messed up on balancing an equation. or cuz he wrote the wrong word on the board and went back and fixed it. hey! at least he caught it, right?! i wanted to turn and yell at them! they had to be about 25 or so. it's like, really guys?!? grow up! if you hate this class so much, LEAVE! i don't want to listen to you two. that's not why i'm here and in pain and trying not to fall asleep in class. i sooo wanted to smack them! really?? they're in college, they're adults, and they probably have kids that are brats because of them.

sadly, i didn't turn around and yell at them. my cheek is swollen, so i don't think they'd understand me too well. and i know they would have said something about how i look. they're kinda bimbos, i've decided. i really don't like them. actually... they weren't even that attractive. well, the blond wasn't anyway. her hair looked fried and fake. hmmm.... :S

needless to say. YESTERDAY SUCKED!!! there was too much construction on redwood and north temple. i could barely make it on to redwood!

all this, and i was STARVING! i ended up going to KFC and getting mashed potatoes. that, at least, i could eat. i finally make it home and took a lortab. my face was in so much hurt. i really hate this.

i only have 3 lortab left. think it will last me til thursday? probably not. i need to call dr. stoker.

this pain business sucks. i really better be feeling better in at least a week! :'(

oh.. and work today. yay... *rme* if anyone touches my face, i'm gonna hurt them. just watch me. GRRR..... >:[

TTTEEEEEEETTHHH!!! FINALLLY!

so i've finally got an actual appointment for my wisdom teeth! i'm getting them out in exactly a week... wow... really soon. but then we've been trying to get it to work out for like a month or so... >:[

anyway.. i like this guy. he seems nice and calm and doesn't freak me out. he's really friendly. :)
now i just hope i can get friday off from work next week.... i don't really wanna go to work swollen and bruised (mb) and sore and stuff....... that would be a whole load of NO BUENO!

so i'll stuff myself with soft food and fudge cicles and have an ice back in each hand! :D
sounds like an awesome way to spend fall break, don't you think??

now to just get this week over with. it's finals and my last one is tomorrow... i hope i do well.. *hope hope*

Rain, rain, rain

So it's been raining for the past 2 days off-and-on. It gets hot, then wet and cold.... it's sooo fun. But hey, that's Utah weather! School has been loverly. And Thor is still complaining... like usual. I got this MJ movie yesterday... which I started watching today. It's called Man In The Mirror. It's not too bad. The one I really want is this one that has more about his "childhood" and his bro Jermaine gave most of the info for the story. It's a really good one (from what I saw, which was like 1/2 of it). The sad thing is that I don't even remember what it's called. Something like The Jackson Story ... I think.

Anyway, so Amber found it while we were looking for The Count of Monte Cristo. I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!! So mb I'll have to go back and look later. Hmmmm....

and so if anything else new and exciting happens, I'll be sure to let you know... Til then... :)
(btw... Taylor is doing great. he's off helping fight fires again. still healing, but from what i hear he's doing good. He might even be coming down to SLC next month!!)

(this is at the campus) ^_^

canyon

Oh... yeah.... the canyons..

We went with my family, and Kailien, Debbie, Tammie, and James yesterday. We had breakfast. It was pretty fun. I'll show some pics.

I took lots.... I've got a bunch on facebook..........

Stressing

I'm feeling stressed out about everything these days...
school, boys, life.... mostly life and everything in it.
it's like it's almost too much to handle.


I hung out with Kacee, her friend Matt, Mandy and her bf Cody.Watching Mandy and Cody be all cutsy made me a little sad.... I WANT TO CUDDLE!!!! But it can't be with just anybody: I'm not one of those touchy-feely types of people. Why do I feel like I want someone to love me??

I know, I know... "I'm still young."

But it can really bum a girl down sometimes.... I feel lonely when I see these people -these cute, happy couples. Maybe it's just cuz I'm used to having someone... Even if that someone was a total jerk! >:[ I really don't think he liked me as much as he said... I think the big reason I was with him for so long is because I felt like there wasn't any other guy that would want me. All of my friends had a boyfriend.... or several in only a few month's time. But not me. I wanted someone that would make me feel wanted -and not just family. Don't get me wrong... family is great, but it's just not the same.



Someone to love me for me.... sometimes it's like family loves you cuz they have to. I know they really don't have to, but still... you're related. You have genetic similarities.... When you have someone that really does want you for you... (and not for that one thing) it's such a confidence booster. You feel needed...





Sometimes I just feel so confused. And I also know that if i tell all, I'm going to get hurt. I tend to keep myself more protected.... That way people only know what I want them to know.

I guess I know I'll have the right guy in time. I'll probably be married in a few years.... maybe... and I could even have kids.... isn't that a scary thought? But I know life will get easier. Harder before easier, but easier none the less. That thought is a little more comforting. I just have to find ways to de-stress... That should also help with my eczema and stuff.... :D

Well.. ttfn! Good day/Good nite! I love you guys. <3

Sun-Shiny Day

So today was very hot..... I'm not liking the sun. It's not nice to me! :(
I've got such fair skin... that I can't be outside for more than 10 minutes and not get burned! Even as i just walk out the door... I can feel my skin cooking! HOW GAY!!!! :'(

So I have to be a recluse in the shade... The problem with that is.... while I wait for the next class to start I would like to sit. I don't really want to be just wandering around for an hour. I sit and study for the next class... or text. So I usually go and sit on the grass or something.... well, last time the grass had just been watered... and I didn't know. I went around with a very wet butt the rest of the day! :'(

Then today I was sitting there...and they turned the sprinklers on! I had to move. Then the sprinklers went on there too! I was not very happy. >:(

Meh..... A Guy :D

So it's getting late.... but I guess I can talk a bit.

I've been trying to figure out how to do the online math stuff --My Math Lab...
and I keep finding new things... and can't find the things I'd found earlier... hmmm... :(

Anyway...
I've been talking to Taylor for a while now. He seems like a pretty great guy.
He's better than a lot I know...
He's 23... a wild life firefighter... and has had a bit of a hard life.
I know my mom is going to love that I'm talking about him on here..... but I don't really care.
I've talked to him long enough... and I know that after talking to someone for a while you can figure out if they're being honest or not. By this point (if not before) they would have asked a lot of personal-ish questions... like I know a lot of guys ask about body measurements. (he never has) Or other things that would make ya pretty uncomfortable... he doesn't really do that.

He's told me about where he lives, his animals, his job, his friends. A little bit about what his family was like. He's a lot of fun to talk to.

We've decided that if we meet up... (which we just might in a few months) he'd come down here. He wants me to be as comfortable as possible about meeting him. He wants me with someone family. We'd be with friends. All that jazz. He's really sweet. :D

And I know that my mom loves that I'm talking to someone online.... but a lot of people meet online. (She even has 2... TWO in-laws that were met online. and she likes them fine enough.)

I have even talked to my loverly aunt.... BECKY!!! <3 I was feeling a tad stressed the other day... so I called her and talked to her about things. She helped a lot. ((thank you for that!!))
I knew she'd understand and be able to help me with it... It smoothed out a few bumps.




Another thing.... it is my opinion that my mother has started freaking out a little more lately cuz she's scared of losing me.... it really doesn't help that some of the girls in the neighborhood have been married (like 3 in the past 6 months) and she's been to all the receptions. Maybe she thinks I'm next???

Well... I've told her before and I'll tell her again... I'm not exactly planning on getting married too soon. If/when it happens... it happens. Just go with the flow until then. :)
That's about all you can do.... that or nag. (which can get really old, btw ;) )

(P.S. Mom... I know you're gonna be reading this sometime.... and I love you! Even if you do drive me nuts sometimes... Isn't that part of what family is for?? LOL...)